BOOK 1 My Story : Mustafa Facestuffer

Foreword: The Power of 9
Doctor 9 was your average megalomaniac and insane inventor who believed in the power of nine. After all a cat was said to have nine lives. This number was said to have a powerful influence on human destiny. "Nine," he would mutter to himself "is the divine multiplier. The mathematical fingerprint of creation itself." The Fingerprint of God.

This particular 9 had evil plans to influence human destiny too but not in a good way. The problem was that he kept these nefarious schemes well hidden. Luckily for mankind there was one man it could rely on to uncover 9's sinister plot and save the world. His name was Mustafa Fastapha. How he become known as Facestuffer will be revealed soon.

Chapter 1: Can these bones live?
Doctor 9 lived at Babel9 Towers the intriguing home of Babel9 Industries. This building also housed a secret, hidden laboratory, but more of that later. Co-incidently 9’s  residence had been built close to Qaryat Al’Ahramat the home of one Mustafa Fastapha.

Babel9 Towers was an architectural anomaly, shaped like a pyramid as it had been felt that this would be less conspicuous when built in the deserts of Egypt. This was sound logic but for the fact this particular pyramid contained windows that were brightly lit 24 hours a day. The mysterious structure rose from the sand like a luminous beacon, gleaming with a constant, unnatural light that transformed the night into a perpetual day.

Windows were unusual additions to pyramids as most deceased Pharoahs in that region had not considered seeing out as a high priority. In addition the continuous hum emanating from Babel9 Towers also drew attention to the fact it was dedicated to the living rather than the dead.  

The owner of Babl Towers had always been fascinated with ancient bones. It was believed that back in the mists of time life had been breathed into old bones. Thousands of years later Doctor 9 worked tirelessly at Babel9 Towers to do just this and is hard work finally came to fruition with the invention of an amazing machine called the histogram.

You may already be familiar with the histogram as a coloured mathematical chart. Forget it. This histogram was nothing that harmless.  In fact, it was an ingenious but dangerous device designed to regenerate historical figures from the past. All it needed was a single bone of the deceased to resurrect the famous; or in some cases the infamous. This made it a particularly powerful and dangerous machine in the wrong hands.

Off course, we know this particular histogram was already in the wrong hands. Those hands belonged to a very unstable and completely deluded megalomaniac. It did not take a genius or a delusional megalomaniac to realize that the one thing the nearby Cairo Museum of Antiquities had was in abundance was bones. Ancient bones.

Chapter 1: Olefactory Obedience or the scent of a good woman
But it was not just any old ancient bone Doctor 9 sought. It had to be the bones of one particular ancient Egyptian princess. There was of course a reason for this. It had all resulted from an apparently innocent conversation that had taken place with the curator of the Cairo Museum of Antiquities.

On his arrival this curator, Dr Ober Lisk, had decided to regale the visiting Doctor 9 with tales and mythology relating to one ancient princess. The museum’s current exhibition featured her life and displayed many of her artifacts including her strident blue ceremonial dress.

Doctor 9 had only been vaguely listening to the curator discussing the princess when his ear  suddenly pricked up. A myth abounded that she had possessed an uncanny power to control any man that came near her. Apparently her skin exuded a strange scent that when breathed in by nearby males turned them into adoring robotic slaves. Of course robots had not been invented then but slaves had.

Her mother Nefertiti was well aware of this and came up with an evil plot involving her gifted daughter. This peeked Doctor 9’s interest as the master of evil plots. This plot had led to the great pharaoh Amenhotep conceding the throne to his wife.

If Doctor 9 could resurrect this princess from her bones he could then use her to create a synthetic version of her scent. To this end 9 later approached Dr Ober Lisk with a large monetary offer otherwise known as a bribe. Being a shady character he had naturally and correctly assumed all he had to do was to pinpoint the curator’s human fraility.

So it was, in due time, our poorly paid but now richly rewarded curator conspired with 9 to steal and smuggle a solitary well preserved hip bone from the display case of the Blue Princess. First he made an exact copy and carefully replaced the original. Thus, the left hip joint of Blue Princess left the museum jn a wooden crate and was destined to find its way into the histogram, preparing the ground for the next development in our plot.

Chapter 2 At first glance
At first glance Mustafa Fastapha appeared to be a humble man and tour guide to the Great Pyramids. Sitting perched high on his camel he certainly looked the part. But to quote the words of our museum curator “Many things and people in Egypt are not what they appear to be at first glance, and it remains a land forever shrouded in mystery” This seemingly innocuous man was in fact an agent of Sphinx, the Egyptian secret service and agent Fastapha’s codename was “Facestuffer”

As a camel rider it seems appropriate to say a little more about camels. In general, the camel gets a bad press. This is in spite of being greatly valued by the Bedouin tribes as ships of the desert and even worshipped as a sacred animal by the Kazak peoples. But Facestuffer was of the firm belief that the camel was often sorely misunderstood. He agreed that camels had the reputation of being bad-tempered, moody creatures that often spat and kicked. One of their more unpleasant traits was to forcefully disgorge the contents of their stomachs without warning. Not only was this a disturbing event to onlookers it also resulted in very bad breath. However Camels, as a rule could not afford to sign up for a BUPA dental care plan and the consequent relief to those who stood nearby.

Putting all that to one side Facestuffer found his own camel, Hump Free who turned out to be even-tempered, patient when needed, and remarkably intelligent for a cud-chewing quadruped. However, as expected, his breath was extremely pungent many kept upwind of him.

At this juncture we also need to make a mention of Facestuffer’s faithful dog, Bone Idle, as he will play an important part in coming events too. Bone Idle, by nature, was a curious dog with an acute sense of smell who felt he was living in the wrong body. He believed he should have been born a bloodhound. The fact he was assigned to the canine branch of Sphinx reinforced this belief.  After all, dogs were great trackers by virtue of their incredible sense of smell and as long as evil doers had a scent, these canine agents could find them even when they hid in rolling dunes of the desert.

Chapter 3: The histogram

As the histogram is about to take centre stage in our drama it is time to reveal more about this ingenious device. As we already know its primary function was to recreate historical characters by mapping their genetic material found in their bones. The machine was very simple to operate having a red and a green button. The green button initiated the process of genetic mapping and the generation of an identical copy of the original Princess complete with skin, bone and flesh. We will discover the function of the more sinister red button later.

Unbeknown to our hero, at that very moment an ancient thigh bone had been deposited into a histogram housed in the lab at Babel9 Towers and the green button had been pushed.

This initiated the first stage of the procedure that would produce the new princess as a perfect replica of the old in every respect except one. Her mind would be totally empty. A complete blank. Genetics could reproduce her brain but not her lifetime of memories.

Because of this salient fact a second stage would then need to be implemented as the Princess was to be attached to another incredible invention. This was Dr 9’s mind-map machine. This device would the allow existing memories of another to be imprinted onto the empty canvas of her mind. 9 had not revealed to anyone whose memory that would be.

As it turned out this stage was never implemented as planned. It is well known that the prototypes of every new invention rarely function exactly as expected and this proved to be the case with the histogram. The Princess was indeed miraculously generated from her thigh bone into the transparent chamber, right before eyes of 9 and his eager group of white-coated scientists. But much to their incredulity, she then promptly disappeared.

It is this author’s belief that nothing in life happens by chance and so it was with the Princess as she materialized on a sand dune some distance from the lab.  Happenstance would mean she landed close to Facestuffer’s dog, Bone Idle out for an early work with his master. At this precise moment Facestuffer was dismounted and with his dog on foot. He became attracted by the barking of his canine friend. Following the noise, he then encountered a sight that had not been seen in Egypt for thousands of years. Before him, on a nearby dune, lay the Blue Princess, daughter to the great and illustrious Queen Nefertiti; wide eyed and most confused. Unfortunately her mind remained a complete blank!

Chapter 4: Bone shaker
No one really understood what Babel9 industries stood for, as this was an extremely secretive organisation. A strange symbol overhung their laboratory. Following the disquiet of locals Agent Facestuffer had been assigned by Sphinx to investigate the mysterious goings-on at Babel9 Towers. This was codenamed Operation Strong Box. It is natural that secretive operations, like operatives were assigned codenames. That said, Facestuffer had protested vehemently that as a pyramid was not a box, Operation Strong Box was an inappropriate name. But no-one in charge at Sphinx listened to him. They just wanted to infiltrate Babel9 Towers and discover its secrets.

Now we can introduce Facestuffer properly. Our hero modelled himself on his favourite TV detective. This fictional character sported a rumpled, beige raincoat, a beat-up old car and a lazy eye. His unassuming demeanour was all part of a clever subterfuge that meant criminals readily underestimated him and his sleuthing skills.

Facestuffer adopted a similar pose and paradigm, but had decided a raincoat would appear out of place during the intense heat of an average, desert day. Instead, his innocuous red fez and a bland camel coat were designed to draw little or no attention. In this disguise he cut such an innocuous figure he was confident no-one would take any notice of him. Thus prepared he set out on his faithful steed for Babel9 Towers.

Meanwhile, pandemonium had broken out at those very Towers with the disappearance of the newly generated princess. This was the first time in human history an ancient had been drawn back into a modern world and there was great disquiet about its implications. How would she feel when she realized her predicament? How would she be received by local people? Would she be captured and exploited by a large rival corporation? These were all unanswered questions that stoked great anxiety at Babel9 Towers. As it turned their worst fears were not realized. This was thanks to the subsequent actions of an agent of Sphinx already well known to us.

Chapter 5: Hiding in plain sight
While Doctor 9’s priority was to retrieve his ancient prize our hero’s thoughts were on how he could keep her safe. The modern world would prove very confusing to the vacuous princess and there would be many willing to exploit her vulnerability.

After successfully and discretely transporting the dazed and barely conscious princess to his house Facestuffer considered his dilemma. He knew the longer the princess remained with him in Qaryat Al’Ahramat the more likely she was to be discovered. His home was next to a busy street and his neighbours were inclined to have their noses in everyone else’s business. So he soon resolved that as soon as it was safe he would transport her to the Cairo Museum of Antiquities exhibition and into the safe keeping of Dr Ober Lisk. He was aware of the current exhibition there that featured the very same blue queen. Surely the curator would agree to hide her in plain sight surrounded by artefacts and images of herself. This would give time for all those involved to decide her fate.

At the first possible opportunity Facestuffer contacted Dr Ober Lisk, the museum’s curator. The good doctor did not seem surprised by his fantastic tale. That was because he was far from good. Our hero was not cognizant of the curator’s involvement with a particular stolen bone. This man was already up to his neck in the ongoing intrigue.

It was to prove Facestuffer’s first mistake. After reassurances from the deceitful curator our hero agreed to return later under the cover of darkness. After successfully negotiating the dark Cairo streets where only an occasional dog barked our hero arrived with the princess in tow outside the dark, shadowy  exterior of the museum. Fortunately for all concerned these were the days before such civic buildings were heavily floodlit. The curator soon appeared at a dark, poorly lit side entrance to silently usher a very confused Egyptian princess into the cavernous interior. Confident his precious charge was now in safe hands Facestuffer left as quietly and as discretely as he had arrived.

So it transpired that shortly after her arrival at the museum our bemused princess was surreptitiously spirited away under the cloak of a warm desert night into the eagerly awaiting crook-ed arms of Doctor 9.

Chapter 5: A hollow story
Facestuffer’s second mistake followed shortly with his arrival at his secretive employers at Sphinx where he immediately reported the appearance of the princess to his employers at Sphinx. They were incredulous. What was he babbling about? Were they expected to believe such a fantastic story? Had he been imbibing potent Egyptian red wine?

In spite of their reservations their first port of call was to be the Cairo Museum of Antiquities. It was a surprise to no-one present when the curator laughed openly at their request to meet the Princess. A live princess indeed? The only blue princess clearly displayed   in his museum exhibition was obviously a hologram.

While they debated their next move they inadvertently left enough time for our traitorous curator to forewarn Babel9 Industries of their impending arrival.

Upon reaching the pyramid this meant the agents of Sphinx appeared strangely unphased by their unexpected arrival and warmly invited them in to take a tour of the building. It was almost if they had been expecting them and Dr 9 was even at the door to greet them. His smug face gave away nothing.

They now passed through a maze of corridors guarded by doors that featured biometric recognition technology and security cameras. This would not be considered unusual for any research facility. Their journey finally ended as they took a lift to the 2^nd floor and reached a laboratory.

They entered a room filled with humming machinery and busy lab technicians scurrying between a series of futuristic pods clearly designed to hold humans. These were reminiscent of the cryopods often seen in science fiction dramas. Doctor 9 explained that they were currently experimenting with producing cybernetic replicas using the DNA extracted from ancient Egyptian bones. Agent Facestuffer noted a small wooden crate standing inconspicuously in one corner labelled “Property of the Cairo Museum of Antiquities.” It then struck Agent Facestuffer that 9 would need an insider at the museum who would be happy to supply the bones he needed.

Doctor 9 went on to explain how once the ancient bones of the mummified were placed inside his device it could use skeletal DNA to recreate a very lifelike hologram. The onlookers were astonished. In fact, 9 continued, these holograms were so lifelike they could easily be mistaken for the real thing. In fact, this had resulted to rumours that a real, living ancient princess was on the loose.

With no evidence of any evil goings-on, or any sign of an ancient princess Agent Facestuffer and his agency colleagues left the building with their tail firmly between their legs.

On his return to Sphinx headquarters Facestuffer was called in for questioning by his red-faced, angry employers. They did not appreciate being made to look complete fools in front of 9 and his staff at Babel9 Towers.

As a consequence Facestuffer was demoted from an agent in the field to a tedious desk job within the agency and his desks was soon overwhelmed with superfluous paperwork. Our hero became understandably crestfallen. Now his only comforts remained his loyal animal companions and evenings frequented with numerous take-away orders of unhealthy, but delicious, highly calorific food. It would be true to say at this juncture our hero was losing his way. 

Chapter 6: Loose ends and reverse gears
9 did not like loose ends. He intended to tie them up. Literally. In order to accomplish this two figures had been silently ushered into a private rear entrance of Babel 9.

One was a very frightened princess. She was greeted by sinister looking figures clad in lurid hazmat suits. As an attentive reader you will recall the reasons why her captors were dressed in this way. These minions led the princess forcefully and rather clumsily into secluded cell whose entrance was secured with a sliding door and a biometric keypad.

The other figure was that of the curator now sporting a protective face mask. He too was bundled somewhat unceremoniously into an equally unwelcoming white, sterile environment. As he been instrumental in helping 9 obtain his lost prize he had assumed he would be grateful. This turned out to be a rash assumption which did not take into account the ruthlessness of his cunning host. The curator knew far too much and had to be silenced.

As this juncture it is vital to acqaint you with the histogram’s red button which placed the device into reverse. As a consequence any living, but heavily sedated human that happened to be inside the histrogram’s chamber was quickly reduced to a pile of their constituent bones. This salient fact would prove a good reason not to get on the wrong side of Doctor 9.

 Unbeknown to the curator he had crossed to 9’s wrong side and a sinister figure stalked Ober Lisk from behind armed with a large hypodermic syringe. Following this, his sedated, inert figure was strapped into the awaiting chamber of the humming histogram. A red button was pressed. Once all noise had ceased the only evidence that Ober Lisk had ever existed was a pile of steaming bones!

In fact, it left his complete skeleton comprising of no less than 206 bones which were retrieved and placed into a waiting empty wooden crate. Ober Lisk was to be returned to the museum but not quite in the form he had left it. However this still left 9 with one more loose end. Now 9 had the princess safe under lock and biometric key he could turn his attention to the irritant Facestuffer.

Chapter 8: A matter of time
9 remained remarkably unfazed. He was aware that two important factors stood in the way of anyone sabotaging his megalomaniacal plans. First, any inquisitor would need evidence. Then they would need to be believed. As his most ardent protagonist was already a discredited witness 9 felt he had time was on his side. He now set about now devising an evil plan to deal with our hero once and for all. This will of course be revealed in good time…

Chapter 9: The Power of 9
With no news of the whereabouts of either the Doctor 9 or of the Blue Princess Facestuffer was now at a loss on how to proceed. However rumours soon began to circulate that Babel Industries was moving into world of personal cosmetics and they would soon launch of a new cosmetics brand and a new fragrance. Facestuffer was particularly intrigued to learn that the new cosmetic brand was to be named Blue Princess Cosmetics and the new fragrance was to be called The Power of 9. 

This made him absolutely certain that 9 not only held the Princess captive but was certainly up to no good. The doctor was undoubtedly using the her for his own nefarious schemes and our hero resolved to rescue from 9’s evil clutches. But how now he had been sidelined from his role as an active agent to a pen pusher.

An even greater mystery was that this Power of 9 scent offered one defining, unique and magnetic feature. It was claimed to give its female wearer complete power over individual men. 

Chapter 10: Cameloids
We return swiftly to Doctor 9’s evil plot to remove the irritant Facestuffer. As his residence was near Qaryat Al’Ahramat his own agents had been despatched to listen in on the latest village gossip pertaining to our disgraced agent. They had discovered a young lady called Fatima who had spent a lifetime pursuing the quirky Fastapha but had, to date, failed to gain his attention. They decided to give love a helping hand and presented her with a bottle of The Power of 9. After explaining its mesmerising qualities to her they left confident that the course of true love (or in this case false love) would take its course. 

Fatima was under strict instructions not to open the product until she was close to Mustafa. There was some concern that a premature uncorking would attract street-loads of adoring male followers well before she reached her intended quarry. Once she had her target under her control she was to lead him back to Babel Towers. 

As predicted our agent’s admirer arrived unexpectedly at his front door having just dowsed herself in the deadly fragrance. Where her natural charms had failed her she was confident this particular scent would not.
 
Happenstance would have it that our sullen hero was outside feeding a much more cheerful Hump Free. As she approached the pair the aroma of fresh camel dung filled the air.

Before we continue we must delve into a brief history of camel dung. This residue is full of microbes and helpful bacteria. But what is less well understood was that its pungent smell contained cameloids. It just so happens that cameloids turn out to be the only smell (unknown to man) that can effectively nullify the effects of Dr 9’s potent fragrance.

The lady in question now approached Facestuffer with great purpose and was soon within olefactory range. Aware of her admiration of and desire for him our hero was not surprised when she arrived as he was absorbed in tending to the needs of his camel. As always Mustafa gave her polite but indifferent attention. She edged forward into his personal space while enquiring after his well-being eagerly awaiting for the hypnotic scent to have its desired effect. Much to her frustration something in the air guaranteed it would not. After a prolonged and abortive attempt to sweet talk our hero into blind obedience she left in disgust. The only problem that remained was that no-one deliberately or inadvertently involved in this plot, which included our hero, knew of the significance of what had just taken place.

Fatima’s unexpected visit and suspect behaviour had aroused Mustafa’s suspicions and as she turned to leave he resolved to follow her on his camel. He would be able to keep a discreet distance and observe her movements while perched high on the quadraped’s back. Fatima led him straight back to Babel Towers. So she was involved in a plot with Dr 9 against him. It was clear the good (or bad) doctor was aware of the threat that Facetuffer posed to his organisation and to his future machinations. As Facestuffer turned Hump Free to head home to his village he now knew he needed to exercise great caution. It was said in whispered tones that those who got onto the wrong side of 9 quickly vanished. Our hero was reminded of the fact that he would be of no use to the captive Princess if he vanished too.

Chapter 11: Of world events, hookah lounges and siblings
Closer to home events moved on apace. The most relevant and hopeful development for Facestuffer was that the male head of Sphinx was coming to the end of his tenure. Would his replacement be more sympathetic to Facestuffer’s plight and free him from his deskbound job for which he was not well suited? He lived in hope. Funnily enough, you may have noticed that just when you least expect it something very unexpected and very fortuitous for our hero may soon occur.

As fate and luck would have it did. When he arrived home after the Fatima incident Facestuffer examined the liquid in the bottle she had discarded. Unusually for a fragrance it gave off very little scent. He placed it thoughtfully with a row of fragrances belonging to his sister Aya. He would ask her opinion on it when she returned from work and now settled down to a relaxing evening.

Aya currently worked at Temple of Smoke, a hookah lounge and male dominated establishment that lay close by to the head office of Sphinx. Being a covert operation Sphinx boasted a shop front being surreptitiously disguised as “Meaner Cleaners” a dry-cleaning establishment. As a consequence “laundry staff” regularly spilled into this particular hookah lounge for a relaxing puff. 

So on returning from The Temple of Smoke that evening Aya noticed a new unlabelled bottle had joined her lineup of fragrances. Her brother rarely brought her gifts so he sought him out to ask about this strange colourless liquid in an unnamed fragrance bottle. He explained that although very innocuous in appearance anything that came from the Babel Towers was never harmless. Would she consider wearing it tomorrow to find out it if it possessed any unusual qualities. She readily agreed and promptly fell into bed.

The following day Aya returned to work after smothering herself generously with her new fragrance. She discovered it mingled easily with the smell of shisha tabacco. As she passed by a group of regulars she noticed one man was paying her particular attention. Intrigued she stopped and turned towards him. “Is there anything I can do for you?” It sounded like he really meant it.

At first Aya was taken aback but decided to play along. Soon they fell into a long conversation about her brother. It appeared that this man was in a position to get him re-instated as a field agent. She of course requested he would do so.

Time passed and she thought nothing more of it until one day she arrived hope to find a deliriously happy brother. Aya was nonplussed. Once he had collected himself he revealed that without explanation he had been moved from his menial desk job. Not only that he had been promoted. He was now Chief of Surreptitious Operations (COSO). And apparently no murmurs of surprise or disapproval had been heard from his work colleagues. 

Aya smiled inwardly to herself and outwardly at Mustafa. She knew she had unlocked the secret of the mysterious fragrance soon to become known as The Power of 9. He returned her smile daily and kept quiet. Their inward thoughts remained unspoken. Sometimes it was better not to question fate when it turned so obviously in your favour.

This unexpected promotion allowed Facestuffer to renew his investigations into Dr9. And he was aware time was not on his side before time. A blinking Facestuffer now re-emerged into the Egyptian sunlight armed with a plan to rescue the Princess before Dr 9 used her to launch his new cosmetic empire. To be continued...